Jody
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 812
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| #151 |
St. B,
I am so glad you're father-in-law was able to get out, thanks to you,
to a place with life, love and laughter....and show everyone how vital
those components are in everyone's life...no matter what the challenge.
St. Chicken's journey has been marked, by things needing to be
addressed all the way from the private doctor's officeto the courtroom.
Mom brought awareness to a minimum of 16 different areas in desperate
need of change and accountability and as said, there is much work to
be done.
I am so glad your father-in-law found peace and joy, it is so richly
deserved...thanx for sharing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love & hugs, Jody
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Jody
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 812
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| #152 |
Dear Wonderful Thrivers,
My Mom aka St. Chicken, left an incredible legacy in so many ways,
but as it pertains to this "Miracle in Progress", there is much to be done as I have said. In honor of all the lessons learned with the goal of helping
others who may face catastrophic circumstances and the horror that
is our current nursing home situation...I'm going to be sharing some
St. Chicken nuggets, so that hopefully with information and education,
other loved ones can be spared the true hell that my Mom experienced
even though she had a medically trained advocate 24/7 for the total
32 months of her journey. St. Chicken is the ultimate caregiver and
devoted so much of her life to taking care of others....I know how
happy she will be to be able to help others through her experiences.
Nugget #1
Ideally working with a kind, caring, competent staff that works with
the resident, family members, & friends as a healing team is the goal.
Sometimes in spite of every kind and or generous offer made, this doesn't
happen and it is clear that the patient is not the bottom line.
A wonderful Angel on this site referred me to a nursing home expert
who gave me the most invaluable information to remember and that is:
"If you are in a building where there are 78 residents and only 4 or 5
visitors on a regular basis....and you are the only one speaking out and
the only one medically trained, just know they are going to paint you as a personality disorder to discredit and invallidate everything your saying because there's no ACCOUNTABILITY in the building. "
No truer words were spoken and I will be forever grateful to the
expert that shared this with me, because these people truly act in
a completely criminalistic way and have evidently gotten away with it for years, from what I have witnessed.
Without awareness and education to right this wrong, this will continue to go on. Much more later!!!!!!!!!!
Love & hugs, Jody
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rvandenbosch
Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 3,498
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| #153 |
You go girl! I'm covering your backside! 
Carol and I visited our Mom several times a week at different times. We did her laundry and brought her treats, etc. We also made friends with the nursing assistants who then took special care of her. All of them came to her funeral and supported us as we supported them.
No one understands what it's like to have a family member in a nursing home unless you experience it! It becomes a full-time job to police the nursing home. You don't give up care when you have to place a loved one there. I still feel guilty that Carol and I couldn't continue to care for Mom at home anymore. It's so painful.
Take care of yourself. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Wishing you love & peace,
Ruth |
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mdlove
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 3,425
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| #154 |
yes jody in my quadriplegic father in law's chart it read "son in law causing a problem"
as a doctor i could read his chart but in it i was not known as doctor siegel
because i was a trouble maker defending him
he was afraid to do it because he felt then they would ignore him to get even
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bernie siegel |
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Jody
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 812
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| #155 |
Ruth & St. B,
I so appreciate you sharing your experiences. Ruth, I totally
agree with you that it is hard to believe or imagine what goes on
in nursing homes...unless you are witnessing it. We don't do this
to animals. And if animals are abused, neglected or otherwise
treated cruelly or inhumanely there are definitive repercussions
and the law is enforced....but not in nursing homes. The same nursing home
expert that gave me the wisdom in Nuggett #1, also said that if there
were more medically trained visitors/witnesses or just greater
numbers of visitors period, this wouldn't go on, because they would be
held accountable when there are more witnesses in the building, BUT
those witnesses have to be willing to come forward and tell the truth.
Just like staff members have to understand that by witnessing what goes on and not coming forward to stop the abuse, they become part of the problem,
not part of the solution, and in effect are abusing the residents as well.
I'm so glad you were able to have human decency and support with
your Mom's staff; that has to bring you some peace, when I appreciate
how you didn't want her there to begin with. I have to believe that if
those of us who know the horrible realities can help others to truly
understand what goes on, that things will change. Sadly, if we start
caring for our human loved ones like we care for our animal loved ones,
corrupt nursing homes and nursing home chains will not be allowed and
will be held accountable. Case in point: The 30 yr old administrator of the nursing home where my Mom was killed said he was personally named in 3 lawsuits, meaning some people are starting to take action and hold them accountable....but there needs to be much, much more.
St. B, it's inconceivable that you of all people advocating for your
father-in -law would be considered a "problem".........but medically and legally
you were a threat cause you knew what you were talking about and
you knew what standard of care your loved one deserved, but sadly
your loved one was right....there is tremendous RETALIATION in
nursing homes and my Mom died because of it, even though I went down every legal pathway possible to get her protected and get her the most basic care. The agencies that are suppose to be advocating and protecting the residents aren't doing their job and again it comes down to who's going to
hold them accountable ???? Seniors are not disposable or throw-aways,
and we as a society have to insist that they not be wherehoused and abused in horrible insititutions, by people
looking to collect their public funding. But again, the public can't know what it doesn't know...but I believe loving thrivers such as yourselves and the power of prayers on this site, can go a long way in turning this around for our loved ones locally and globally.
When a man interviewed on a news show,says that he spent time in jail and
time in a nursing home....and says he got better care in jail...it's time to wake
everybody up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This site is full of movers and shakers that truly care
and I know we can make this happen!!!!!!
Nuggett # 2
The unspoken response if you try and get a basic standard of care
for your loved one is: YOU REPORT....WE'VE GOT YOUR MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!
This sounds like it couldn't possibly be true, and yet sadly in these two
side-by-side nursing homes on the Monterey Peninsula, that is the
absolute truth...I can't speak to nursing homes outside of Monterey
county, but I can certainly speak to the ones here.......in this highly
regarded and resourceful part of the world, that is the reality and
there's no excuse for it. Clearly if it can happen here, it can happen
anywhere. Thank you all for caring and on to many more MIRACLES!!!!
Big Love & hugs, Jody
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mdlove
Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 3,425
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| #156 |
in the nursing home they drug you to keep you quiet
in jail they can't
when my father in law was dying i moved him out to be near our home when he was dying and he came back to life and then told me he was dying to please the nursing home staff "because they are tired of taking care of me."
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bernie siegel |
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