ECaP Discussion Forum
Register  |   |   |  New Posts  | Chat
 
 
 


Reply
 
Author Comment
 
lucette

Registered: 05/24/08
Posts: 1,700
 #1 

I've been thinking about uncertainty in life today and the fear it can cause some people.  There is so much uncertainty economically, relationship wise and so many other ways for so many, even to the point of where will the next meal come from, where will I sleep tonight.  These are big issues.

But in chronic illness/cancer there is a lot of uncertainty too for people who are facing appointments, scans, treatments etc.  Presently I am in a cubicle in short stay in emergency, waiting for a bed, which may not be available for a day or two.  I'll be OK. I just couldn't keep down oral antibiotics, so had to have an IV infusion.  So far I've been able to have this laptop here.  There is a feeling of uncertainty everywhere here, especially with patients, family members, junior doctors, tired nurses. 

Some of you reading here must also be going through times of uncertainty.  So how do you cope.  For me it always helps to keep the focus just on the present moment, which is all we have right here, right now.  With the kids I would try to encourage curiousity and a sense of adventure. It helped them to focus on being grateful too.  We'd find things in the moment to be thankful for.  When they became interested and curious about everything around them they soon forgot the fear of uncertainty.  Of course meditation is the great help. 

The perception of change is a sure thing in life, but with that comes uncertainty in so many ways.  However, we do have the choice to focus now and not let the uncertainty make us fearful.  How do you folk deal with any uncertainty you feel in relation to illness? For example, I know people who have a great deal of trouble waiting for scan results (scanxiety we call it here). I don't have that trouble because I can easily forget to collect results, go to appointments... I guess I think whatever will be, will be... everything will be Ok and I will cope anyway.  But I know that the uncertainty of the illness can affect some people more than the actual illness.  So, do you weigh pros and cons, tell yourself you will handle whatever happens, use affirmations etc.? Your suggestions might just help someone else reading here, someone who feels really uncertain right now.


PS Later.  I've just been told that I can use the laptop for games etc., but not the internet as the connection may interfere with other equipment.  They said they were uncertain about this, but best to disconnect.     

mdlove

Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 4,214
 #2 
when uncertainty comes release it through meditation
if it is uncertain why give it time and worry
face the difficulties and release the uncertainty and focus on the potential

__________________
bernie siegel
rvandenbosch

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 4,169
 #3 

It's so easy to say don't worry, be happy, etc.  Not easily done!  Yes, life is more uncertain now.  I'm always anxious when I have a CT-scan of my kidneys and abd every year.  I have learned to live in the moment and take each day with it's problems and joys, as they happen.  The what if's are a waste of my time and energy.  It's a lot easier to take a deep breath and meditate until the anxiety passes. It works for me everytime.


__________________
Wishing you love & peace,

Ruth
rvandenbosch

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 4,169
 #4 
Lu,
Cell phones and laptop computers will interfere with the radio frequency waves used by the hospital for communication with ambulances, helicopters, police, etc. and that is why we ask patients not to use these devices near the control center of the hospital.

__________________
Wishing you love & peace,

Ruth
mdlove

Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 4,214
 #5 
life is uncertain
eat dessert first

__________________
bernie siegel
lucette

Registered: 05/24/08
Posts: 1,700
 #6 
Thanks Ruth.

Ernestine Ulmer who said life is uncertain - eat dessert first must surely have been hooked on hot fudge sundaes.  No-one who finds "heaven" in eating vegemite toast would say such a thing! 
lucette

Registered: 05/24/08
Posts: 1,700
 #7 
Bernie coins words like liove and others.
One word that Sam Keen coined is "wonderosity".  I like that because if you have an attitude of both wonder and curiosity you can't be so scared of what's happening.
lucette

Registered: 05/24/08
Posts: 1,700
 #8 
Here's how I use words to help people in times of being uncertain:

SCARED and SACRED use the same letters.  The only difference is the placement of the letters C and A.
 
Ca stands for Cancer.
Ac can stand for Account or for AC (electrical charge = energy)
 
The C and A of SCARED needs to be turned around to become SACRED.  In one's mind cancer has to be turned around so it can make your life sacred, and not scared.  Having cancer can be a sacred experience, not a scared experience.
 
When people write me that they are scared because of having cancer I tell them to make that sacred.  On a sheet of paper they write SCARED and on one side they list all the things they are scared about.  On the other side they write SACRED, and using the idea of putting energy into their lives or taking account of their lives. they write down what they can do to change all the things they are scared about. 
 
Then on another sheet of paper they write down on one side of the paper Ca = cancer and all that is saying in their heads.  On the other side they write down Ac = taking Account (or AC = energy - if that appeals to them more) and write down all that is saying to them in their heads.  This all helps to turn their illness from a SCARED feeling into a SACRED feeling.

Blessings, Lucette.

 
raven

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 605
 #9 
your all so wise i thank you for your wisdom but some days i cry my eyes out about what might of been  then i cry some more and i remember the aids orphan who i look after in a small way but some times dont you ever want to scream out ah F**k this this is wrong i want things to be better?  i may be i am the only one but i would love one of my kids to say mama i love you one can sign the other cannot  also those living with cancer which such wisdom i salute you for you help carry on never forget that you help a mother in liverpool uk take  care across the globe much peace and godbless the internet 
 ps its a shame vicki lost her daughter for she could of baby sat my kids in the dreamland where we all go from time to time  peace and lovr vik  for you know what i mean
Betty

Registered: 03/24/09
Posts: 1,680
 #10 
Bless you Vanessa for your honesty.  Yes, I feel like letting it all out, but the tears don't come.  Call me a baby if you want to, it's o.k.  It's been so long since I've given myself permission to be a baby.  Now I just feel like resting and sleeping.  Babies can rest and sleep and cry as much as they want, and everyone thinks that it's so cute and normal.

I'm not hungry and my nurse says, "Eat or you'll die."  Can you imagine saying that to a baby?  So I'm just going to rest and hope that I'll be hungry again soon.

__________________
Live your Bliss
Betty
rvandenbosch

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 4,169
 #11 
Vanessa and Betty,
Tears are therapeutic and help get the "feelings out!"  I cry easily because I am touched by the beauty of people around me.  I also cry for my patients/clients/family/friends who are in physical and emotional pain and wish that I could take their pain away from them.  However, we all need pain to grow/change.  If we have no challenges, life would have no purpose.  We would all become fat and lazy and do nothing.

Vanessa....keeping getting those feelings out and Betty, let go and see what happens.  Trying to control our life is a waste of precious energy that you need for healing!

Take care of yourselves!

__________________
Wishing you love & peace,

Ruth
raven

Registered: 10/15/07
Posts: 605
 #12 
ruth where do you get your strength? your amazing inspiration for all of us , i admire you and feel humbled to know you thank you for all that you doe for others on this site much peace
vanessa
ps no jokes to send latley never mind some will come  by take care
rvandenbosch

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 4,169
 #13 

Thanks Vanessa.  I've had to learn a lot of life's lessons the hard way.  You have all been my teachers and we are all in this together!  I'm also very blessed to have Bernie as my friend and mentor.


__________________
Wishing you love & peace,

Ruth
Betty

Registered: 03/24/09
Posts: 1,680
 #14 

That is a blessing for sure.


__________________
Live your Bliss
Betty
mdlove

Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 4,214
 #15 
have you all noticed title is uncertainity
and not uncertainty
is this a sign of insanity
apparently it can't be fixed by the powers that be

__________________
bernie siegel
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

ECaP Discussion Forum
Terms, Conditions and Code of Conduct

Welcome to the ECaP discussion forum.

This forum is provided by Exceptional Cancer Patients (ECaP) which is owned and operated by Meadville Medical Center’s Mind-Body Wellness Center in Meadville, PA.

First and foremost, this forum is intended specifically for discussion purposes and support related to the challenges of cancer. Our goal is to provide this service to uplift, inspire and help those in need of friendship and support.

This forum is not intended as a therapeutic strategy, or as a substitute for rational medical care. This forum must not be considered an alternative to medical care or professional counseling.

ECaP does not recommend making clinical decisions based upon the content of this forum. Always consult your personal physician, oncologist or counselor prior to any treatment decision.

While we encourage all participants to express themselves, ECaP reserves the right at any time to delete messages and prevent individuals from posting. We will not permit posts that are derogatory, defaming, denigrating, profane, or sexual.

Always be respectful of others. This is not the place for venting about an ex-spouse or resolving personal conflicts. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

While the forum’s “email” feature is available for personal contacts, do not privately email derogatory comments to each other.

Please remember that your messages are read by people of all ages. The information in this forum is available to everyone. Consider your words carefully and think twice before you post. You may be unintentionally hurting someone else… and eventually hurting yourself.

Ultimately this forum is a reflection of you… and collectively all others who choose to visit. The forum’s format is determined by ECaP. If you choose not to use a feature, we respect your choice. However, do not attempt to impose your choice or preferences on others. While you may elect to post in only one section, we will not eliminate other sections that people are using.

Always remember that copyrighted material (unless it is your own, or you have written reproduction permission) must not be included in postings. You may however provide a link to the original source.

By registering in this forum, you are accepting and agreeing to ECaP’s Terms, Conditions and Code of Conduct.

 

Powered by Website Toolbox - Create a Website Forum Hosting, Guestbook Hosting, or Website Chat Room for your website.