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tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/04/10 at 05:26 PM #1 
We had some friends visit and the woman asked Lucette a number of straight forward questions.  After the visit I jotted down a few things Lu said to think further about them myself, and since they relate to having terminal cancer I thought I'd add them here.

Lucette explained to the visitors the difference between healing and cure.  The woman asked Lu 'being realistic, how do you know when to stop the healing and start preparing for death.' 

Lucette answered (and I haven't got the exact words) 'There is no difference.  It is the same thing.  You just keep living.  Death and healing are both about being whole.  For as long as my consciousness is in my body I will live in this body and try to grow to wholeness.  For me there is no difference between healing and dying as both are about wholeness and both are holy.  I live as best I can and I will die as best I can, with awareness, with gratitude for my body and this life.  So it's not a matter of stopping one thing and starting another.  Healing and dying are the same and living well regardless of how my body is, and trying to grow in wholeness, takes care of this.  Death is healing too.'

So how would you folk who have terminal cancer answer that question? Especially as EcaP seems to have the focus on getting rid of the cancer and surviving.  I'm looking forward to discussing this further with my wife when she has more energy.  The visitors were interested in further discussion too, but Lu was tired. 

  
rvandenbosch

Registered: 03/10/04
Posts: 4,169
Posted 09/04/10 at 06:14 PM #2 
Hi John,
I don't have "terminal cancer," however, life is terminal and as such, I would answer the question the same as Lu.  I also try to be the best that I can be, live in the moment and make a difference.  None of us know how many days that we will live so I live each day as if it were my last day on earth.

Thanks for sharing Lu's beautiful message!
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Wishing you love & peace,

Ruth
GailBSrebnik

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 279
Posted 09/04/10 at 07:57 PM #3 
Thank you for sharing Lu's words and thoughts. Our friend Susan, who has in the past posted here,  is now in hospice and is not wanting visitors. It is so hard to accept for me. This posting helps some. Warmly, Gail
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All things are Possible!
mdlove

Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 4,214
Posted 09/04/10 at 09:19 PM #4 
healing is about one's self and life
curing is about one's body
they can happen together or separately
healing is what i try to accomplish
it makes living and dying a part of the process
as i have shared my dad died laughing surrounded by family
he was healed when he died and so were my mom and my wife's parents
when they fell up
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bernie siegel
hs1

Registered: 07/08/10
Posts: 46
Posted 09/05/10 at 03:23 AM #5 
Please pass on my love and prayers to Lu.


Helenxx
tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/05/10 at 03:48 AM #6 

Thank you Helen.  I will.  Lu doesn't post on the forum now.  I've somehow got caught up posting since I've been on holidays.  I guess it is easier when a husband and wife both belong to the same forum to post when the other isn't posting.  We don't always agree, and as one of the kids said they hoped we didn't have a 'domestic' on the forum'. Our 'domestics' are usually fun anyway

But we do agree on one thing.  I mentioned to Lu about you Gail, having a hard time with Susan being in the hospice.  We both will keep Susan in our thoughts and prayers.  I don't remember her name on the forum, but then again I wasn't on here much.  We'll be thinking of you too.  It is good that Susan can say she doesn't want any visitors.  Obviously she is wanting to die her way.  That's great.  Withdrawing is normal.  We have a lot to do with both a nursing home and a hospice.  When old people die in the nursing home it seems so natural as if that is the natural state for them to go to.  But in the hospice you have all ages, from children through to old age.  The way people die is so individual too and the most important thing is that they do it their way in peace.  Lucette has been with so many people as they died. 

Yes, Ruth, life is terminal.  Another thing I just remembered now about that conversation was that Lucette said is that Love, Thanks and Forgiveness are important in healing and dying.  Also when you breathe you have little moments of death anyway. Death is in Life and Life is in Death, but is transformed.  The other thing was accepting that you will die is not the same as surrendering.  Both bring peace but one can be a mind thing and the other is a soul experience, a different level of peace.    

And Helen, I hope things are going well for you in Scotland.  It's three years since I've been over there, but one day I'll get back there, fingers crossed.
tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/05/10 at 08:43 AM #7 

Someone has just emailed me and asked why don't I ask Lucette exactly what she said and post that re: this conversation I referred to.  Well, folks I've come home from holiday to go back to work and Lu is still away for a few extra days rest.  But maybe will talk again about this when she gets home. In the meantime may you all laugh much as Bernie's father did, without the dying part.  Peace, J.
GailBSrebnik

Registered: 10/17/06
Posts: 279
Posted 09/05/10 at 03:56 PM #8 
John, I appreciate the Private message but I tried to reply and it seems you are not accepting PM. Thank you for the message. Gail
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All things are Possible!
tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/05/10 at 04:36 PM #9 
Gail I will try to fix that.  I just want you to know we are thinking of you re: Susan.  J.

Gail, I think I've fixed it now.  I'm not too good on the technology! 
Marilyn

Registered: 09/17/06
Posts: 60
Posted 09/06/10 at 06:23 PM #10 
Bernie, I don't remember reading your term "FELL UP" before.  I like that.  My husband's brain problems started with him tripping over curbs and walking into things.  In the 4 accelerated years of his illness he had so many falls.  An angel must have been watching over him.  (The last one he tipped the wheelchair over and his head hit the wall and he and the wheelchair crumpled to the ground.)  I saw the tape and he seemed okay.  (they did not call 911 and just got him up.)That was like a miracle and the last fall.     Then the cancer kicked in big time
But now I like to think he "fell up."
tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/06/10 at 06:56 PM #11 
Yes, Marilyn and Bernie.  It's a great expression.  Fell up.

It reminds me of another time I heard it used.  Before we married Lu had an experience in hospital which people now call a "near death experience".  She may have already told you folk about this.  No-one called it that at the time, but she actually had no consciousness in her body, so to speak, and she saw a nurse crying and came back into her body.  She told a nurse about it later and then a doctor questioned her and said these things happen.  But later after we were married she got a call about it, which was a surprise, and was interviewed by some researchers at the university.  I remember her saying something like 'well, I fell up to the corner of the room and had a different perspective.'  I'd heard of tripped up, but not fell up, so I always remembered that term and used to use it in fun with the kids, much to their annoyance and a big 'no, I fell down, or I fell over'. 

Must have been a hard time for you Marilyn watching the falls your husband had.  Peace, J. 
mdlove

Registered: 03/13/04
Posts: 4,214
Posted 09/06/10 at 08:59 PM #12 

How could death be the end of something that has no beginning?   Hydeh Aubon

 

the above is a line from one of hydeh's poems
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bernie siegel
tortoise

Registered: 12/01/08
Posts: 547
Posted 09/06/10 at 11:16 PM #13 

Bernie and Hydeh.  Good point.  Thanks.
Rose2

Registered: 01/31/09
Posts: 362
Posted 09/07/10 at 08:24 PM #14 
John,
Please give Lu a hug from me and a BIG KISS! She(Lu) will return them when necessary. I am intent on trying to fly to Australia and meet my friend! I would fly into Sydney. My friend lives in Parametta. I heard it was an older place. My friend brings smiles to my face. Tell Lu that "I love her." I hope she has good friends right now in order to turn to them. I am one of them as well! Whatever you need will be brought to you. It is all on God's time; not our time.
Love,
Rosie
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Love to you all, Rose
hs1

Registered: 07/08/10
Posts: 46
Posted 09/10/10 at 01:48 PM #15 

John
Thinking of you and Lu


Helenxx
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