Bernie's Discussion Forum

Goodbye and thanks

Catherine — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:16:07 GMT

Hi guys. The time has come when I have to say goodbye because I go on Schoolies today, then I come home for my 5 year brain scan and then I go to my new job. I'll miss you guys. I'll be home for Christmas and if this forum is still going I'll check in then.

Thank you Uncle Bernie for letting me on your forum and thank you to everybody for all your notes to me. When I came on here I was worried that when Ma dies that she may not be really dead and that people can be buried or cremated alive but I'm not worried about that anymore because when Ma was in Respite I saw how the relatives of the dead people could sit with them after they died and I saw for myself that there really were dead. I was also depressed that Ma is going to die but even though she got sick again yesterday she does get a bit better and we've talked about it and I'm OK now.

Thank you for answering my questions. When I'd read on here before I wrote I thought this wasn't really a cancer type forum because you didn't write about cancer. I thought it was a fan club for Bernie, especially with Bernie's picture and what you'd all say to him. I used to say to Mama "why are you going on to Bernie's Fan Club?" But then when I went on and asked a question you were all very nice and kind so I didn't feel so bad. I know it's not a cancer forum now and just like a fun forum and I really enjoyed reading all your notes even though I didn't understand them all. The one thing that Papa made a rule of was that I used normal language and spell check when I wrote on here and not the language I talk with my friends or even at home. And when he read a couple of my notes he said he was proud of me. And I wanted to thank Vicki for telling me I could write. I got a C+ for creative writing because I can't make up things, but I like to just write about what I think or feel, so Papa bought me a journal and I've already filled that. Now I've been thinking I'd like to write the story of growing up in our family as a book and it doesn't matter if no-one buys it because it would just be something I'd enjoy now.

About writing and talking and even just living, we were always told by our parents that it doesn't matter if you do or say wrong things. What is bad is if you don't learn from the wrong things. And that the most important part is to know that everyone does and says wrong things because that's what life is about and they'd only be angry if we didn't try to learn from what we did and to always say sorry. As we got older we also had to be quiet each night and to think about the energy behind the things we said and did. For example I might have said something nice to Papa but the energy behind that was just to get notice so I could get something I wanted. Or sometimes my sisters would say something and the energy behind that was that they were really sad or lonely even though they'd say "I'm fine". I hope that explains what I am saying. So it was easy for me to pick up the energy behind the notes on here and I'd just be quiet and imagine good energy and happiness (I can't imagine peace very well) going to people. Sometimes I know Uncle Bernie is sad or tired and the same with you others. I especially send lots of happiness to Janice because her energy wasn't good. So I can't do that anymore because I won't be able to read your notes. But what I can do is to think of you all, ask Mama how you all are and each night to look at the stars and say to bless all those on Bernie's forum. So that is what I will do.

So this is the end of my farewell speech. I usually cry when I say goodbye and I'm not crying now because I'm trying to concentrate and use spell check on what I am saying, but I feel a bit sad and I hope you all stay well and happy and have lots of really peaceful times. I hope that you can sometimes think of me. On the ill health side I have my 5yr brain scan just after schoolies and I also found out two weeks ago that I have polycystic ovaries (how embarrassing to say that on here ) so sometimes you might pray for me too. Thank you to everybody.
luv Cathy xxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxooo

Kitchen things

Catherine — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:47:05 GMT

Mama said it is not necessary to put anything about this on the forum. But I am going to because you guys have good ideas.

When you have MS and cancer what kinds of things do you find most helpful in the kitchen? We have the getting around part sorted out for when Ma is tired. She has a wheelchair, a walker and a walking stick but she doesn't use any of those except when she is really really tired. But what she uses when she is cooking in the kitchen is a bar stool which Papa put wheels on and then it is high enough to cook. I like using it too. Now the problem is her arms get tired. Papa wants to get a breadmaker because he hates the bread from the supermarket and the one bakery we have near our place has horrible bread too. We used to make our own bread when we lived in the country. But Mama wants something to slice things that's not only a knife. So you get the picture. What things do you guys find the most helpful in the kitchen so we can get it for Christmas? Thanks guys. luv Cathy xx

New way to share pictures with everyone here - quick and easy

beth — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 19:44:38 GMT

I love how we all share pictures and jokes together through the forum.
Unfortunately, one of the problems with doing the pictures is that it takes time
to do it. I have to save each picture, name it, upload it to a storage place on
the web, then copy the email content containing the pictures and change
where the pictures are coming from (my local computer where no one but me
can see them) to their new location (on the web where everyone can see
them) as well as strip out email addresses if they are present, then post it on
the forum. So an email with 20 or more pictures can really take a little chunk
of time to do.

However, I love the joy and happiness that people get when they see these
pictures and share them with their friends. It means a lot to me to help.

So, I've been thinking a lot about how to help in a way where it's easy for the
person with the pictures to share them with everyone and at the same time it's
easy for me!

I spent some time over the weekend working on a solution that Bernie has
approved.

I set up an email mailing list, where all a person has to do is send an email
with pictures to one email address and it will then go out to everyone who has
signed up to be on the mailing list.

So, for example, let's say that Bernie, Ruth, Beth, Margaret, Lucette, John,
Catherine, Gail, Vicki, Pat, Gerlinde, and several others signed up. Any of us
who signed up could then send an email with pictures to one special email
address: thrivers @ liove .org -- and when the email is sent to that address it
will then arrive in the inbox of all those who signed up (Bernie, Ruth,
Margaret, Lucette, me, etc.).

Here is the "information and sign-up" page for you to learn more and to try it
out if you're interested:

Click here for page to sign up for Thrivers Mailing List

You can also easily unsubscribe from the mailing list at any time if you change
your mind about it. It's automatic and will occur immediately (or I can do it
for you if you prefer).

Hugs to everyone - hope you like it! Please let me know if you have any
questions or need help with it.

Meditation

Gerlinde — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:36:09 GMT

Om .....Here is a beautiful and peaceful Sunday morning meditation for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PJx8PE_GVM&NR=1

Peace and Love,
Gerlinde

About the Llamas

Char — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:14:51 GMT

Hi all:

I was to the Royal Winter Fair
and usually just glance at the Llamas
and take off

but this time there were 2
of them females 1 yr old
and just the way they looked at me
and their lovely coppery brown coats

I stayed and watched them and my
they are lovely creatures

We could pat them on the neck
and their fur is so soft

The lady tells me they are intelligent
and they have a fine time with them
with the 4H club

What a lovely experience
to be able to take this in!

Animals are awesome!

http://www.ontariocamelids.org/sonnys_llamafarm.html

Be sure to click on
HOMEPAGE and see the baby ones
and one in a field of daisies

Char

What to Say and not to Say to Someone with has Cancer

rvandenbosch — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:36:33 GMT

Dear Family,
I posted this article from "The Cancer Crusade a couple of years ago.I say a prayer when I work with someone who is newly diagnosed with cancer and I am providing counseling services for him/her. Please add your thoughts as well.

We hope The Cancer Crusade's weekly affirmations bring you comfort, hope, healing and smiles, and that you will forward them to others for whom you feel they might have meaning. We also invite you to submit ideas for future affirmations.

Sometimes you feel other people's pain worse than your own. We're armored against our own troubles. We can't afford to give in to despair. Then you see someone else struggling, and it breaks your... heart.
~ Sean Stewart ~

What do you say when you learn that someone you care about has cancer? What do you do? Is there any "right" way or "wrong" way to
respond to the news?

Most cancer survivors we've talked with have stories to tell of comments and gestures made by friends and family members, some of which were hurtful and some of which were helpful. Based on those survivors' stories as well as our own experiences, we offer the following
"do's" and "don't's".

First the "don't's":

1. The worst thing you can say or do is to say or do nothing at all. Almost every survivor we've ever spoken with can tell of at least one person who, upon hearing the news, disappeared and was never heard from again. Maybe the fact that your friend or loved one has cancer is the worst news you've ever heard and you can't stand the thought of him being this sick. You don't know what to say or do, and it's too painful to see him without hair, and the house smells like a hospital, and, well, it's all so just so scary. We don't mean to be harsh here, but this really isn't about you. Stick around, please. Your loving presence alone can be the healing salve for a wounded, frightened spirit.

2. We know you mean well when you say, "God won't give you more than you can handle," but we wish you would listen to the implications in that comment and refrain from using it. It implies that God gave us cancer which inference often leads newly diagnosed patients to wonder if God is punishing them for something they did or failed to do, and that's the last thing we need to be worrying about right now.

To clean up a popular phrase, stuff happens. People get cancer (1 in 3, in fact). People get lots of other awful diseases, too. Babies are born with defects. Long-distance runners have heart attacks. Brave men and women go to war and get killed. Supermen fall from horses, and maniacs fly airplanes into buildings. And, yes, many people do get more than they can handle as evidenced by suicide rates. We don't mean to step on anyone's religion here, but we refuse to believe God is the one causing all this mayhem, destruction and chaos.

Conversely, we believe God grieves with us when these things happen, and He is there for us and with us in the treatment room, in the delivery room, on the racecourse, on the battlefield, in the emergency room, on the airplane and inside its target. Instead of telling us that God gave us cancer, remind us that God will be with us
every step of the way.

3. Don't predict the future. Acknowledge the seriousness of the diagnosis without being morbid ("Oh, my God! My aunt had the very same thing and she died 8 months later!") and without being unrealistic ("You'll probably outlive me. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow!"). We don't know what's going to happen to us, and neither do you. Tell us happy stories of other long-term cancer survivors (but refrain from saying someone had "the very same thing"; no two cancer diagnoses
are ever the same).

Never, ever tell us stories with unhappy endings.

Now for the "do's":

1.Things to say: "I'm here for you." "You can cry with me." "I love you." "I won't leave you." "Whatever you're feeling is okay."

Just be there. Follow our lead. We'll let you know if we want to talk about it, and if we do, please let us. Don't change the subject. When you don't allow us to talk about our disease, it makes us feel
alone and isolated.

2.Things to do: Take my kids out for pizza and a movie or, better yet, for the weekend. Offer to pick up prescriptions, take the dog to the groomer and run other errands. Clip cartoons and funny pictures and send them in a card. Bring thoughtful gifts (a book or magazine, a tabletop fountain, a meditation tape or CD); avoid things with strong smells (bath sets, flowers, food, etc.) until you know how I'm reacting to my treatments.

A special message for doctors and other medical professionals: We know there are no guarantees, but you can give us hope. Your patients ask you for hope in different ways. Some are subtle, and some are screaming. Remember that where there is life, there is hope, and remind us of that. Instead of just saying, "You have cancer, and it's very serious," say, "You have cancer. It's very serious, but once you get past the shock of this diagnosis, you are going to discover what a strong, resilient person you are. That strength and resilience partnered with our staff's knowledge, skill and experience are going to form a powerful team to fight this disease. We're going to
do this together."

Dear God, someone I love has cancer. I am so afraid for him, and I don't know what to say or do to ease his pain and fear. Help me today to become a true caregiver in every sense of the word. Let my mouth speak only words of comfort and hope. Let my hands lend warmth and strength. Let everything I say and do be helpful, not hurtful. Guide me, God, as I walk this path with my friend. Be a lamp unto our feet as the way is often dark, and bring us into Your healing light.
Amen

cleaning service for women on chemo

mdlove — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 16:01:02 GMT

Today at 10:59 AM

Cleaning for a Reason

If you know any woman currently undergoing Chemo, please pass
the word to her that there is a cleaning service that provides FREE
housecleaning - 1 time per month for 4 months while she is in
treatment.

All she has to do is sign up and have her doctor fax a note
confirming the treatment. Cleaning for a Reason will have a
participating maid service in her zip code area arrange for the
service.
http://www.cleaningforareason.org

How are you all?

lucette — Thur, 12 Nov 2009 02:30:00 GMT

Vicki, I hope your surgery goes well and that you don't have too much discomfort.

Gerlinde, you know I'm thinking of you and praying for some ease with that chemo.

Margaret I'm sorry to hear about Michael and may peace be with all.

Bernie, how is Bobbie and how are you going too. Are the other pets showing signs of missing Miracle?

Janice I really hope you feel better within yourself and are getting the support you need.

Jann, it's no fun have stage IV cancer, so how are you?

Betty, I hope the aches and pains have eased for you too.

Ruth, Beth and Bob, Cath just told me you have been helping her and her friends. Thanks.

And everyone else and all new people, how are you all? I've been keeping everyone in thought and prayer. I am OK. I have a new skull mets but that will be zapped by radiotherapy. There is no pain there. I thought I could let it grow and look like the Buddha! When you are supposedly "terminal/palliative" according to the Pal Care doctor there's always a lot of discussion about "what to do". But I have asked for anything and everything to be done. My illness is not terminal - this present earthly life is terminal for all of us. Let's enjoy every minute of it NOW! Take care everyone and thanks for emails too.

Poem for Bernie

Rose2 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:13:58 GMT

Bernie,
I wrote this poem this afternoon on bag paper from the Hallmark gift shop. I bought a card for my sister's anniversary and one, a happy card, for my friend in Australia. I hope you like my poem. Bless you!

It took you
It took you to un-weave my madness.
It took you to make me see my faults.
It took you to give me a 'boost'!
It took you and your unconditional love, to make me
'whole' again.
It took you.

Rebekah Rose Lang a.k.a Rosie

Mantra and Affirmation

Catherine — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:27:10 GMT

I asked my mother what a mantra means and she told me that the man part is from manus which means mind, and the tra part means to protect or quieten. So mantra means to protect or quieten the mind. I understand that and you can use different words like Christians say Lord Jesus Christ over and over, and Buddhists say Om Namah Shivaya over and over and it helps to keep you calm. But I have read on some old pages here where some of you talk about affirmations and give words you say. So I have three questions and I suppose I could ask my parents but I thought I would ask here because you would know too. Is there a mantra for the Jewish religion? What is the difference between a mantra and an affirmation? Do you people find saying a mantra over and over again in your mind makes you calm, and how do you say a mantra to make you calm and concentrate on an exam or work at the same time? Thanks
luv Cathy xx
And another question: If an affirmation is different to a mantra then why do you say those words? When do you say an affirmation and what does it do to your mind?

In That Field

Vicki — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:16:41 GMT

In That Field

In that field out beyond right and wrong of which Rumi speaks, there is nothing but undivided love and healing.

In that field there are no assassins or judges or victims.

There are only souls whose time has come to live in the light.

Paying no heed to division or strife.

In that field wild flowers grow.

How do we get to that field when we need it so badly?

The heart's weary silence will guide you there.

Don't ask what it will say or do. Questions don't arise in that field.

But the Answer belongs to us all.

Army base tragedy

lucette — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:34:39 GMT

We are so sorry to hear of the horrific killings at the Army Base. Peace to all.

Vicki's Surgery

DreamWeaver — Thur, 05 Nov 2009 19:56:19 GMT

Hi Everyone,

Vicki just posted on Facebook that she is headed to the ER for Gall Bladder surgery. May our prayers be with her!

Ganoderma therapy

jkraker — Thur, 05 Nov 2009 12:01:51 GMT

Good morning! I've been hearing/reading about benefits of ganoderma in cancer treatment. For example, see http://www.cancure.org/ganoderma.htm. There also is some NIH-funded research: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15500944. Has anyone had experience with this? Thanks!

Rules to live by!!

jann — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:11:47 GMT

v Rules from God for 2009

v     1. Wake Up !! to have a
   good day.
   "Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice and be glad
   in it" Psalms 118:24

v     2. Dress Up !! The best way to
   dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to
   improve your looks. "The Lord does not look at the things man
   looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at
   the heart."
   I Samuel 16:7

v     3 . Shut Up!! Say nice things and
   learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must
   have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking. "He
   who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

v     4. Stand Up!!..... For what you believe in. Stand for something
         or you will fall for anything.. "Let us not be weary in doing
         good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do
         not give up. Therefore, as w e have opportunity, let us do
         good..." Galatians 6:9-10

v     5. Look Up !!...
         To the Lord.
        "I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me."
         Philippians 4:13

v     6. Reach Up for something
        higher. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not
        unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge     Him,
        And He will direct your path."
        Proverbs 3:5-6

v     7. Lift Up !!... with prayers.
       "Do not worry about anything;
        Instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING."
        Philippians 4:6

                And remember:

        God answers prayer.

I am not terribly religious, I will admit. But this was almost "fun" and certainly uplifting for me this morning!

Have a great day filled with light.